How to get back on your feet after financial abuse

Financial abuse is a lesser-known part of domestic violence. It's when a partner takes control of your finances, and like coercive control, it is often invisible to the outside observer. But there are ways to get help – we'll show you how.

Bruises and broken limbs are easily seen. Vicious physical attacks can be heard. But financial abuse is done quietly, and strips away control from the person who needs their resources most, not least in order to plan a way out.

According to the Law Society, 'Financial abuse covers a wide variety of activities, from mishandling finances to fraud, but may broadly be described as a violation of an individual's rights relating to their financial affairs or assets.'

People in abusive relationships may not realise they are subject to this form of control. They may be reluctant to ask for help or admit the problem to friends and relatives. However, there are ways to get yourself out of this situation and back to freedom.

Vulnerable people, such as those who are older or disabled, may be subject to financial abuse. For example, carers or relatives might take advantage of housebound clients when they do tasks for them like paying bills or buying groceries. Some adult children take advantage of their parents.

If you are in this situation, there are ways to help yourself. It may be useful to visit Citizens Advice (Opens in new window) (CAB) if there's one near you. They can offer you face-to-face advice and protect your identity.

It can happen to anyone

One woman who had handed over all her income to her husband lost it all. She told the support and advice charity for those affected by domestic abuse, Broxtowe Women’s Project (Opens in new window), her story: 'I trusted him; I had no reason not to. I had high earnings and bonuses, and my partner invested my earnings. I never questioned his judgment or asked for details of the investments, I believed he was saving for our future together.'

'He became controlling in other ways, about where I went and who I saw, and would often question me about my movements. I didn’t like this, but trying to make sense of the situation, I told myself he was jealous because he loved me so much… After all, he never hit me, so I told myself it really wasn’t that bad.'

Then she discovered that he hadn't been paying the rent and that they were about to be evicted. She texted him while he was at work – but he never returned home. She lost her rental home and her money. What she did next is a blueprint for those in a similar position.

She went to see a CAB debt advisor. Luckily, the eviction had been unlawful, which meant that the debt was written off. The CAB helped negotiate a payment plan for her council tax arrears. They also put her in contact with the Broxtowe Women’s Project.

Her outreach worker there helped her to report the fraud she’d suffered to the police. The credit cards taken out in her name were allocated a crime number, and the credit card companies withdrew those debts.

Broxtowe Women’s Project also put her in touch with a debt management company that helped her to arrange payment plans with some creditors and to have other debts written off.

'From being a high earner with a very successful career, I am left with nothing', she said. 'Despite this, I have managed the financial mess I was left in without the need for bankruptcy or an Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA), for this, I feel proud.'

If you find yourself in a similar position, consider informing your bank, closing any joint accounts, opening a separate bank account, asking credit agencies to stop your abuser opening accounts in your name and finding debt advice.

Where to find help

The domestic abuse charity Women’s Aid offers The Survivor’s Handbook (Opens in new window) in several formats with useful information.

Remember, there is help out there for you. You can find help on the internet, you can confide in a friend, you can visit the CAB. And you can talk to your bank and tell them you are suffering from financial abuse. We also have listed some organisations that can help you with domestic abuse and debt.

If you're a Chase customer and you think you might be the victim of financial abuse, please contact us.

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